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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?' -- Steven Wright Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. -- Aldous Huxley Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair. -- Johnny Carson All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income. -- Samuel Butler The shortest distance between two points is under construction. -- Noelie Altito To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. -- Gustave Flaubert When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn't the slightest intention of putting it into practice. -- Bismarck Never judge a book by its movie. -- J. W. Eagan